A Love Story

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I say this one is worth at least a million.

These are Pete’s grandparents. I have only known them 12 short years of the 60+ that they have been married, yet I have learned a lifetime of lessons about love from them.

Pete has always looked up to his grandpa more than anyone. We have been able to honor him by having him stand in as the best man at our wedding, and naming our son after him (Deacon Willis Kleinsasser). When he came to our wedding 10 years ago, he had just gotten the news that he had Parkinson’s disease. He didn’t spoil the joy of our wedding by saying anything though. We found out a short time later. The past ten years have been increasingly tough for him as he struggles with losing abilities that he once had.

What amazes me about watching this life that his grandparents have shared for over 60 years, is the love and support of Grandma. She proves every day what love is.

Sometimes when I think about a picture to define love, I think about a couple, newly married, or a couple holding their new baby. I rarely think about an old couple, so obviously comfortable around each other that it appears there is no spark. However, after witnessing how Grandma loves Grandpa in the day-to-day, this is my new picture to define the best earthly love that I have experienced.

For one, I cannot imagine being married to someone for that long! Can you fathom how well you would really know that other person? Talk about highs and lows! They have seen them all. This is definitely a low, but she is not bowing out now. She has loved him for this long and she is going to continue, despite how hard it is on a daily basis.

The Parkinson’s makes Grandpa’s hands and feet feel really cold. They are not truly cold, but the nerve endings tell him they are so cold he cannot sleep. Grandma has gloves stored all over the house so she can put them on his hands any time he complains of it. She has sewn together rice packets that she can stick in the microwave to put by his feet at night.

The Parkinson’s makes him have horrible panic attacks. She refuses to leave his side when he is feeling that way. If she has something else planned, she cancels. Even when he is not in an “attack,” he is very nervous if she is not right there. She rarely leaves the house. If she does, she leaves the phone in his lap and he can push one button to speed dial her cell phone at any time. When she answers the phone, it is with a sweet, “Hi! How are you? Do you need me to help you with something?” No anger for her VERY limited time away being interrupted. If she is at a meeting, etc. and he calls because he “needs” her to come home, she does. His feelings are more important to her than her plans.

Grandpa needs a whole array of medicines, at certain times of the day. She controls it all, calling in prescriptions all the time, telling him what to take, when, etc. Her entire day is centered around getting him what he needs and trying to make him as comfortable as possible. Taking care of him is literally a full-time job – she quit her job a few years back to do this.

The crazy thing? I have never once heard her complain. She only mentions how sorry she feels for him. I cannot imagine being in her shoes. Well, I can to some extent because having small kids is a very sacrificial job. However, the differences are that I complain 🙂 and this stage of life will pass for me. I will not always be sacrificing all my time for my kids. I will one day be able to go do as I please again without having to find someone to watch the wee ones. However, when this sacrificial time is over for her, she loses her spouse of 60+ years – the one who knows her best.

I think about how the end of Pete and I’s earthly relationship will be some day. Will I be the one who has to be cared for, or the one expected to give up what life I have to care for him? Guaranteed, it will be hard either way. I can’t imagine a greater way to really, truly love the person that you claim to have loved for all those years though.

Grandma has always been an inspiration to me in the ways she loves others and makes everyone feel so special in their own way. She truly finds value in every person. However, this is challenging me on a whole new level. I am not sure I even know how, or if I could, love the way that she does every day. All I know is, if the opportunity ever arises, I sure hope I can figure it out half as good as she has.

I know what love is more, for having spent a recent 3 days with Pete’s grandparents.

I hope someday I can inspire someone to love better because of how I love!