Oh the things inside my head people. If you only knew. Here is what is going through it today:
The craze in January is about how to lose weight – everywhere I look there is a new tip on how to rev metabolism. I am completely and totally interested in the tips every time, even though they are always EXACTLY THE SAME. I am sure my interest has nothing to do with the fact that I gained 7 pounds over the holidays and I can’t. stop. eating. sugar.
Anywho, the tips have always said to drink 5 cups of green or black tea a day. I am thinking that sounds like a lot of time at the tea kettle, many burnt tongue experiences and a whole lot of hassle, considering I am busy, people, and can’t do all the things I have to do with a gosh darn cup of tea in my hand! Then, it ALWAYS includes drinking 8 cups of water, which by the ways is on the list of things to do for pretty much everything in life. You want life to be better? More fulfilling? DRINK MORE WATER. It really does cure everything I hear.
But…you are supposed to drink an EXTRA cup of water for every cup of tea or coffee or soda you drink. So, if you can’t keep track in your head, we are up to 13 cups of water, on top of my 5 cups of tea. Wowzer.
Then, I am not kidding you, another thing on “the list” is now to drink 3-4 cups of coffee a day! WHAT?! When I was little, I distinctly remember my mom harping on my dad for all the coffee he drank because it was so bad for his health. Well what do you know, the new decade has brought with it the knowledge that coffee is healthy! Don’t get me wrong, I love my coffee with LOTS of flavored creamer just as much as the next person, just a little overwhelmed at the request to drink even more liquid.
So, since you have to drink another cup of water for every cup of coffee you drink, we are now up to 17 cups of water, ON TOP of the 5 cups of tea and 4 cups of coffee. I am quite certain that the reason this revs metabolism is the constant trips to the bathroom. That is a lot of extra steps and squats in your day! Also, you will have no time to eat if you are drinking that much and peeing that much.
But, you know, a girl has 7 pounds to lose to I am sipping on my scalding green tea as we speak. Feel free to donate to the Kleinsasser toilet paper fund for this month.
